My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, That you may preserve discretion, And your lips may keep knowledge. For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell. Lest you ponder her path of life– Her ways are unstable; You do not know them. Proverbs 5:1-6 (NKJV)
If we never had contact with someone of the opposite gender we would never have to worry about remaining faithful. Unless we are going to lock ourselves in our houses and never come out that is not realistically possible. If we live in the real world we will deal with people of the opposite gender. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It just makes it necessary that we be on our guard and use discernment with these relationships. We need discernment because…
Sin can be made to look and sound good. Solomon tells us that the immoral person seeking to draw us away from our spouse will say all the right things. They are often smooth talkers that tell us exactly what we want or need to hear.
One author said that most affairs start not because of sexual attraction, but because the unfaithful spouse feels that their needs are not being met in the marriage. When these needs are not being met—for real or in perception—this opens up the door of opportunity for someone else to come along and meet these needs. The immoral man/woman is an opportunist that seizes this opportunity.
If the husband doesn’t feel affirmed—one of his five basic needs—the immoral woman declares that he is her hero. She says all the things he needs/wants to hear. If the wife feels she can’t communicate with her husband—one of her five basic needs—the immoral man comes along to listen and communicate with her. Again saying exactly what she wants/needs to hear.
There are two problems with this. One is that this builds an emotional bond that should not exist outside of marriage. The other is that the immoral man/woman has ulterior motives. While the words seem as sweet as honey, they are really as bitter as poison and as sharp as a sword.
We need discernment to see what is behind the words. To see what is behind the actions. Is this truly someone who cares? Or is it someone who sees an opportunity and is trying to seize it? Not everyone is the immoral man/woman. Some people genuinely care and want to help. Unfortunately some are the immoral man/woman and just want to take advantage of us. We need to be on our guard so we can distinguish between the two.
Every path has a destination. The immoral man/woman is on a different road that the one wisdom teaches us to walk. Wisdom teaches us to walk the path of life and to think about what path we are on. The immoral man/woman on the other hand walks on the path that leads to death and doesn’t even realize it.
We must be on our guard and using discernment to see where this path would lead us should we start to walk with them. Will it lead me down the path of life? Will it lead me closer to my spouse, and closer to God? Or is this going to hurt my relationship with my spouse and with God. Is this the road of death? We need to be on our guard using wisdom and discernment so that we can see the danger ahead.
“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Proverbs 27:12 (NLT)
The idea is that the wise are able to evaluate the path they are on, see the end result and take precautions to protect themselves from harm. The fool on the other hand, may see the danger ahead but foolishly assumes they will be the exception to the rule, presses on and suffers the consequences.
Think about how this would work in our desire to remain faithful to our spouse. A person comes along and for whatever reason they begin to meet a need that we feel is unmet by our spouse. The longer this goes on, the more attracted we begin to feel toward this person. The wise person never lets their guard down and so they begin to see where this is heading and what could happen. The wise person who wishes to remain faithful to their spouse recognizes the danger and so ends the relationship.
The foolish person on the other hand sees the danger but doesn’t take precautions and ends up being unfaithful and violating their marriage vows. This is the same person who later says, “I never thought it would go this far. I never intended for this to happen.” They probably didn’t intend for it to happen. While they didn’t intend for it to happen they made all the right mistakes to ensure that it happened. They let their guard down. They didn’t see where the path was leading or they saw and didn’t take precautions and so they ended up being unfaithful.
The Believer in Jesus Christ does not have the luxury of being able to drift through life without a care in the world. The believer in Jesus Christ recognizes that they are in a spiritual battle and they never let their guard down.
For further study read Ephesians 6:10-18.
Why do we need the armor of God?
How could the wiles of the devil relate to marital unfaithfulness?
How can the armor of God help us to remain faithful in an unfaithful world?